Last week proved to be one of my hardest yet. After much discussion, weighing up the pros and cons and trying desperately to find a solution I was forced to accept that 3 boars on our property is 1 too many.
Spotty arrived on the property at 8 weeks of age, destined to be pork chops at 6 months of age. He got to 6 months and it seemed all too soon to say goodbye. When Arthur arrived they became best mates and then Stanley arrived and Spotty adopted him as a little brother. Time passed and Belle arrived. Spotty had to go and I accepted the fact.
I wanted him to go live on another farm but in the end we knew he would be hard to find a home for and he would never have as good a life elsewhere as he does here.
He would go to the butcher but we would mate him with Belle first so we would have offspring to remember him by.
But Belle refused and eventually proved too much hassle to keep herself. A cantankerous loner of a sow she badly attacked Spotty and we sent her to the butcher. Spotty was bruised and sad and as I hugged him and dressed his wounds I began to see him as a pet and a friend.
Life changes though and Spotty and Arthur became enemies in an unexpected battle that lasted many hours. The battle changed both boys and Spotty started to spar with Stanley, clearly readying himself for another fight. Before long we would have to keep all 3 boars separate and out of sight from each other. There was nowhere for Spotty to go.
I accepted the inevitable and Aaron arranged Spotty’s final journey.
With Aaron home all last week I said goodbye to Spotty on Tuesday evening and with great difficulty held it together at work all Wednesday. I arrived home with a heavy heart only to discover that Aaron had tried all day to get Spotty into the trailer. Stanley got in quite happily but Spotty had refused.
My help was needed. I was absolutely horrified.
And so we walked down to the paddock and after 20 minutes of coaxing he was in and the door was shut. He bashed himself against the door to open it and I lost it. I cried so hard I struggled to breathe. Aaron drove away and I watched as he disappeared up the highway with Spotty, a lone figure in the back of the trailer.
I cried all night, only switching off the tears as I got up for work.
And so I’ve shed just a few tears since.
I cannot keep grieving as this was his destiny. Had he been sold to someone else he would have lived only half as long.
In truth, I do not think that I grieve for a life lost but more for the part I played. I feel guilty for being part of the process. It is true that it is better not to become attached to animals destined for the freezer but to raise happy animals requires their trust. And perhaps unfortunately, pigs enjoy human company and so become friends very quickly.
I know I am making a mistake spending so much time with the piglets but when I see how much they enjoy back scratches and belly rubs I believe it is only me who suffers for it in the end.
At least these piglets have a chance to live, if only for a little while.
I shall miss Spotty but as with our other animals I shall move on.
The Requests Keep on Coming
Now that we have become CouchSurfing and HelpX hosts we are being inundated with requests from people wanting to stay.
We are booked from now until the end of March with guests and are now having to say no to people.
Gwen, Helen and Emily returned on Friday and left this morning.
It was lovely to have them here for the last 2 weekends, although perhaps I have been less of a good host this weekend. In order to cope with Spotty’s departure I have withdrawn into myself a bit these past few days.
I cannot believe the amount of help Gwen and her girls have given us. They did so much around the garden and then made all our meals and did our dishes for us. Yet as wonderful as it was, I felt so guilty I insisted they stay out of the kitchen last night.
Gwen is just a whirr of activity and I felt quite exhausted seeing just how much she accomplishes in her day. Her girls are equally disciplined. Perhaps it is a French thing. I cannot imagine that I would be as perfect a guest.
But of course these perfect guests leave us with a bit of a dilemma. Now we have seen just how much we can achieve with the help of guests part of me wants to cancel our membership with CouchSurfing and just invite Helpers to stay instead. This is of course the selfish, needy part of me rearing its ugly head. I so desperately want to be a more giving, less selfish person yet it is a daily struggle in my head to accept that it is better to give than receive.
It’s not just my decision either of course. As the year passes and we receive more guests we’ll gain a better understanding of what is best for us and our property.
And so I’ve shed just a few tears since.
I cannot keep grieving as this was his destiny. Had he been sold to someone else he would have lived only half as long.
In truth, I do not think that I grieve for a life lost but more for the part I played. I feel guilty for being part of the process. It is true that it is better not to become attached to animals destined for the freezer but to raise happy animals requires their trust. And perhaps unfortunately, pigs enjoy human company and so become friends very quickly.
I know I am making a mistake spending so much time with the piglets but when I see how much they enjoy back scratches and belly rubs I believe it is only me who suffers for it in the end.
At least these piglets have a chance to live, if only for a little while.
I shall miss Spotty but as with our other animals I shall move on.
The Requests Keep on Coming
Now that we have become CouchSurfing and HelpX hosts we are being inundated with requests from people wanting to stay.
We are booked from now until the end of March with guests and are now having to say no to people.
Gwen, Helen and Emily returned on Friday and left this morning.
It was lovely to have them here for the last 2 weekends, although perhaps I have been less of a good host this weekend. In order to cope with Spotty’s departure I have withdrawn into myself a bit these past few days.
I cannot believe the amount of help Gwen and her girls have given us. They did so much around the garden and then made all our meals and did our dishes for us. Yet as wonderful as it was, I felt so guilty I insisted they stay out of the kitchen last night.
Gwen is just a whirr of activity and I felt quite exhausted seeing just how much she accomplishes in her day. Her girls are equally disciplined. Perhaps it is a French thing. I cannot imagine that I would be as perfect a guest.
But of course these perfect guests leave us with a bit of a dilemma. Now we have seen just how much we can achieve with the help of guests part of me wants to cancel our membership with CouchSurfing and just invite Helpers to stay instead. This is of course the selfish, needy part of me rearing its ugly head. I so desperately want to be a more giving, less selfish person yet it is a daily struggle in my head to accept that it is better to give than receive.
It’s not just my decision either of course. As the year passes and we receive more guests we’ll gain a better understanding of what is best for us and our property.
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